I realized eventually that the answers that I was searching for, I wouldn’t have in this life.
- Hometown: Mt. Vernon, Iowa
- Children: 2 children, 5 grandchildren
- Fun fact: In my free time I love helping others in repair projects. I also love woodworking, fishing and travel.
I was the oldest of 4 boys in our family. We didn’t have much materialistically; we were a fairly poor family, but we never suffered for lack of anything. I would say we had very strong Christian upbringing. I knew about God, but it was just head knowledge. It was kind of like 2+2=4. It’s just a fact. I just knew it was there, but it wasn’t heartfelt. It wasn’t a personal relationship. It wasn’t something that was real.
I fell away from the church. I partied and didn’t go to church. I had some rowdy friends. I got out of college and started to work in 1973, and my goal was to make as much money as I could at the time so I could buy the things I never had as a child.
In 1978, my brother-in-law, Johnny Paul, developed leukemia. He was a very strong Christian and a witness to me as he suffered and eventually passed away. The final time I saw him, he knew he was dying and basically paraphrased the apostle, Paul. “Whether I live or whether I die, I’ll win either way.”
He had something I didn’t have. He had a conviction. It wasn’t just a statement. It wasn’t just head knowledge. It was heartfelt. It was a solid commitment, and it was hard for me to get my hands around that. It was hard for me to understand that, but I knew I wanted it.
I started to think about those things and read the Bible more. A friend of mine got me involved in a one-on-one Bible study. In 1988, I committed myself to Christ and became saved. I’ll be forever thankful that somebody took the time to invest in me, spend the time with me and help me fully understand what a commitment to Christ means.
In 2004, my son, John, developed what we thought was a minor melanoma. In 2012, his cancer reappeared. It was a very difficult treatment for John, but he was a Christian. I was amazed at his strength, conviction and belief, and he was the one that was dying. He eventually passed away January 21, 2013. I was very upset with God. In fact, I was more than upset. I was convinced through his ordeal that John was going to recover. I believed that as much as I believed in God.
I realized eventually that the answers that I was searching for, I wouldn’t have in this life. Like Job, I had to decide that what I knew about God was true, and that’s what I decided to do. All of us in life want to avoid pain and suffering. Very few of us can avoid that. Jesus told us we would have pain and we would be disappointed. Through that pain, my faith was tested in a way that I never thought would happen. I know that cancer, illness, sickness or pain will never separate us from His love. God’s grace and the eternal life that we have are the assurances that let me know that I will see John again, so I rejoice in that.