Amber Hermanson

When I was 8 or 9 years old, I attended Hidden Acres Bible Camp and it was during one of the devotionals we had as a cabin, before bed, that I asked Jesus to come into my heart. I was living a religious life: I went to church, continued to attend Hidden Acres Bible Camp in the summer, participated in Youth Group, was a member of the Fellowship of Christian Athletes and the Christian Club in high school. I read my bible, memorized verses for AWANA, and I prayed each night before bed. I was baptized at the age of 12 because that was the “next step” in my religious walk.

I believed that I had all the “makings” of what a Christian should be, except I seemed to be lacking one thing… I did not actually have a personal relationship with Christ. When I had asked Jesus to come into my heart all those years ago, it was not a life-changing thing for me-it was almost as if I had felt it was something that I was SUPPOSED to do at that time in my life. I continued to go through the next 18 years, sharing with others that I was a born-again Christian, and even telling myself I was a born-again Christian, but secretly wondering why I felt and how I could feel…incomplete.

Anyone who knows me would know that I am one of the most stubborn people you will ever meet, as I do not like to admit I am wrong, much to the point where I think I could even convince a sheep that it was supposed to moo. So, this past September, when my husband and I were asked if we wanted to participate in a marriage module through our church, we thought that would be a good idea. However, before the first session even begins, Pastor Dave comes out with a warning, telling us that the video series we were going to watch was not aimed at superficial matters in the marriage, but rather the message went straight for your own heart. Even knowing this, I was not fully prepared for how hard it was going to hit me. I went home that night with thoughts swirling through my head, and I decided to go for a drive later that night, but I couldn’t shake this depressing feeling weighing on my heart. I kept trying to figure out why I felt the way I did, in addition to all of these new thoughts and feelings that were going on in my head.

On the drive home, all of the sudden the song, “I Surrender All”, started running through my head as I continued to feel this weight pushing on my heart. After I pulled into the entrance of Sandpiper, I closed my eyes and started to think. As I sat there, trying to figure things out, I realized that while I had asked for forgiveness in the past, I had never truly laid everything down at the foot of the cross and surrendered it all to God. Knowing that God was willing to take my sins, forgive and forget them, taking them as far away as the east is to the west if I would just let go of my stubbornness, I bowed my head and prayed, right then and there, surrendering everything I had to God, leaving it all at the foot of the cross. When I was finished with my prayer, I could feel the weight that had been pushing so hard on me was no longer there; instead I had a feeling of peace about me, almost as if God was telling me, “Now, that wasn’t so bad, was it?”

Before I end my testimony, I would like to share with you one example of the changes I am seeing in my own life since that night when I was humbled before God. I have said before that I was very stubborn, and I was not very easily humbled, as I only cared about being right or being the ‘winner’. After my surrendering to Christ, I have noticed that I am humbled more quickly when things come up that I normally have fought about. I no longer have the die-hard, “I want to win no matter what” fight attitude over the small, trivial things.